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There’s a type of tree in Del Ray, Florida called the Australian Pine. Meg was telling me about them. They’ve been banned in the city everywhere except for a small patch. The reason they’ve been banned is that they produce kernals that are incredibly painful if you step on them. Despite their beauty, they have been relegated to a small patch where they reach far into the sky.

I picked up meagan from the airport. I had arrived back to Chicago while she was away, so I got to spend time in my old home just myself and the dogs. It was odd being back. It felt like more of a home than anywhere else. And yet, it too was not my home. There were remnants of my past littered throughout the beautiful space. The vaulted ceilings and prolific plants dressed the place with a deep sense of familiarity. The white sheets were perfectly made as if I had arrived at a hotel. On on that manicured bed laid my dogs staring at me with disbelief and anticipation. Meg had moved my clothes up into the loft which was now partially her art studio but mostly just a storage unit.

Meg looked like she came back from Florida. She looked elegant but still dripping with sexuality. Her long legs wrapped in leggings insulating her from the fresh Chicago chill. She carried her luggage to the car making her way by asking everyone for a little bit of help. And help she received with the way she looked. She had roughly the same amount of luggage for her weeklong trip that I had for my several months in Mexico. Despite working her entire time in Florida she seemed invigorated.

As I watched her walk towards the car her hips gracefully swinging, I recalled my own travels with her. There were elements that were so much fun and then others that made me want to blow bullets through my skull. we made each other laugh all the time. She had astute observation skills and was a conduit for me to learn about the finer things in life.

Whether abroad or home, what I loved most was the simple moments with her. Waking up with her and taking the dogs out was always followed by a thoughtfully crafted breakfast of homemade hummus, lentils, focacia, avocados and a balsamic glaze. The dogs would either watch from the couch or from under the table depending on how lucky they felt. We would go over my jokes from the night before or her clients coming up. There was a clean organization to our life despite how messy I was and how cluttered she was. The devils rose only when the sun settled.

I do love spending time with her. I like going on trips with her and going nowhere with her. The level of comfort I felt around her was like no one else. Right now, however, I am not in the mood to be comfortable. In fact, the opposite. I want to challenge myself and grow and find new terrain to explore. And, for me, exploration has always been a solitary pursuit.